Hmm...

What is a relationship?

I've been reading over a few friends blogs, as well as my girlfriends blog and was quite surprised by the results.

I get a mention in about 70% of the blog posts from my friends. In all but one case the blogs are from friends that I don't see much more then once a week at the most.

Most of the times I've been mentioned in my friends ones have been in regards to fun things we've done, stupid things we've done in the past, or sad things we've been a part of - all over the board. But its usually with people that I spend less time with; those that when I do see them its not been taken for granted, and they enjoy the company (that much is evident).

When I think about the times in my life that I've enjoyed myself the most, its usually the things that I don't do very often - Skydiving; Shooting; playing with fire on an epic scale, etc...

Why is it easier to look forward to doing things with friends I rarely see, then those I see daily? One would assume that the relationships I have with those close by would be stronger; yet it always seems to be the opposite. That its easier to get along with the seldom seen.

I think in a way that I'm becoming almost too reliable to some people I see daily. That it's got to the point where I can be taken for granted, and I've almost become more of an object of reliance, then a friend.

I got a call to help someone move house, my friend told me he called me first. When asked why they called me (given I haven't seen him around in a while), he told me that it was because he knew I would be able to help; that I would offer to help, and that I would expect nothing in return. That I'd been able to help him a lot in the past, and he knew he could rely on me for help.

At first I thought this was a pretty good thing, as it shows I'm reliable. I mentioned it to another friend who was with me at the time who simply said jokingly "or maybe you are a doormat" and just laughed it off.

That got me thinking though.

I realised that I'm more then happy to drop stuff I'm doing to help out other people, but its rarely a two-way street. I don't do it to curry favour, or to look good etc in front of them. Its just one of those things that I was brought up to do - if someone needs help, you help.

I've realised though that some of those closest to me do not have the same behaviour or standards. I'm starting to feel now though that it's those that I'm closest to - that the relationships are dying. How does one rebuild it to the point of a mutual true friendship, rather then a task master and obedient servant while still being a friend and helping them with their needs?

I spoke with a mentor about this earlier and they said that it shows someone's true character in how they act always. I agree with this, that someone's heart is shown through their actions. He also mentioned that perhaps we just live in a lazy generation where the focus on self will always be foremost.

I know that when people call for help I'll be there. I know that in the future I will drop what I'm doing if a friend is in need. I just hope that somehow, in some way, people will see what I do and recognise the lack of standards in our society. That they will be spurned to kick it up a notch - to stop living for themselves, and to start thinking about how they can serve and care for others.

- Shifty

Job vs Career

What's the difference between a job and a career? I started in a new line of work last week. I think its going to be a career.

My reasoning is that a 'job' is something you do to get paid. Its a means to an end; whereas with a career, the work itself is the end. The money is helpful, but you enjoy working, so it doesn't become stressful or taxing.

I have a bunch of friends that all have "jobs". They strongly dislike the 'job', and may even go as far as to complain about it any time its mentioned. The only reason they do it is for the money so that they can do other things. This bugs me for 2 reasons:

A) Because its simply annoying to be stuck with a whinger, and

B) They have a job to do. They have work. They have money.

Being in the work I am, I constantly forget how lucky I am to be working regardless of whether I take personal enjoyment from it. To be able to actually sit down and get something done - to contribute to society - is a joy to itself.

People often say "what would you do if you won $90 million dollars in the lotto?" etc... and how they would retire and not work ever again, but just do fun things. I don't think I could do that. I think it would kill me to not work. Recreation is good, but its good with definition. If it becomes the only thing you do, it loses the specialness. To put it as a metaphor - If you don't have Black, then how do you know what White is?

True, there are times when I get frustrated, however I wouldn't want to stop doing what I do. There are times I think about other career paths, and what it would be like to follow them, however I find the most enjoyment I get is from doing whatever work I currently have.

I think all Men enjoying creating; all Men enjoy the sense of accomplishment that comes with completely a task. All Men know that life will not just be handed over on a silver platter because you squirt a few tears if something goes wrong. Putting up with the hardships; resolving issues (rather then ignoring them) are all trademarks of what makes a Man.

So take encouragement in your work. Enjoy the opportunity you have. Whinge a whole heap less.

- Shifty

Shark Attacks!

I can't write the phrase "Shark Attacks!" without the exclamation point. It just doesn't look right?

These are becoming pretty popular at the moment. 3 shark attacks! on the south coast of Australia in 2 days; all involving a good size chomp on an unsuspecting beach-goer. 2 resulting in people punching the sharks

There's also 2 theories on how sharks attack. Theory A states:

A) Sharks only take a bite to get a taste of what they are chomping; but humans have too high a muscle + bone ratio to be tasty food for sharks, which is why they take a bite then usually bail (i'm assuming the "usually" is if the person isn't fat, with all the stuff (chunky bits) the sharks like); and more people will die from blood loss, then being eaten whole.

Theory B states:

B) Sharks only take a bite to get the prey weakened so there's less risk of the shark getting hurt; then when the prey starts to die they come in full bore and chomp chomp chomp; its just that humans have a better chance of escaping after being bitten (getting to shore, or being helped onto a boat) so the shark doesn't have a chance to finish you off.

My issue with these two theories is that neither is very helpful to a swimmer except for a single clear fact - "SHARKS WILL BITE YOU". Does it really matter whether it appreciates the meal or not? No. So why is that the major story at the moment? The modus operandi is as such "Sharks will see something. Sharks will bite that something".

I have to admit that when I'm away from the beach, sharks scare the heck out of me. But when I'm in the surf, its usually not as bad. I guess because I figure there are tastier people then me to eat, so I should have a bit of warning.

At the end of the day, with all the technology we have, we can send men into space; we can possibly collapse our universe (hadron collider); but we can't stop fish from chomping our limbs off.


What a world.

Fears

Why is it that someone can be surrounded by people and yet still feel alone? That they can be in the middle of an office; or a party or even with their own families, and yet they feel totally alone. Humans are social creatures; there is no denying that. So why, even if we are in proximity to others, can people experience feelings of isolation?

If I was to write a list of my top 5 fears they would go something in this order:

1) Isolation

2) Having my loved one cheat on me

3) Velociraptors ... *Thanks for reminding me about them xkcd!* >=(

4) Being toyed with in the sea by a Great White Shark

5) The thought of someone hating me.

Now its obvious why the raptors and shark is there... but why are the other 3 all to do with other people? If I was to analyse this myself I would assume:

My fear of isolation probably comes from growing up and living (comparatively) far away from all people I know. Then having lived closer to them for a few years I have now had to move away again. I guess its the feeling of helplessness, even though I know I am not.

Having my loved one cheat on me? I guess that comes from knowing I would rather die then cheat. I think cheaters are wretched empty people. I don't mean cheetahs. Cheetahs are pretty cool. Cheaters though, they are the suck. To put yourself in that sorta relationship of trust, and have it mean nothing? You'd have to be a very self absorbed and callous person.

Thought of someone hating me? I think this is probably a fear that comes from having grown up in a society where ragging on each other is common place and well and truly encouraged. Don't get me wrong, I love bagging friends out in a friendly 2-way kinda way. I don't like the people that just cut for the sake of cutting. I loathe the thought that someone would actually hate me for who I am, that they would dislike me for being me. That they would think bad of me in any way. That being said, I refuse to bow to peer pressure and be the guy that "will do anything". I still remain my own man; I just hate thinking that perhaps if I'd started a conversation differently, or if there had been other circumstances that maybe I'd have gotten along with them and there wouldn't be any animosity.

What a world we live in.

Questions

Does this world run on ethics? Do we have worldwide standards? How can we live with terrorism if there is no set backbone with which to base a proper way to live? How can we embrace ethics or morals without being contradictory to our own religions or beliefs, whilst accomodating for other people?

Should the onus on teaching morals and ethics fall solely on the parents, or should they be able to teach this in schools? Are morals even something to be taught? Are they a natural thing or do they come from the way we are nurtured?

Is there ever going to be a way to effectively combat terrorism short of arming everyone the same? Will there ever be an end goal?


Less Serious Questions:

How the heck DO they get the bonsai cats into bottles? Even just in terms of photoshopping

If Pinocchio says the phrase "My nose is about to grow" what happens to him?

If able bodied people are not allowed to use disabled parking or they incur a fine, should the same thing happen for disabled toilets? Where do we draw the line?

Will my beautiful girlfriend ever be able to find my blog?

Will I ever stop teasing her about not knowing where it is, even though I keep giving her totally rad clues?

Will anyone ever comment without me advertising?

Whatever happened to MC Hammer?

Why can I find a Samurai Pizza Cat Lunch Box on eBay, but I can't find a new house to rent?

Why am I still typing?


- Shifty