Hmm...

What is a relationship?

I've been reading over a few friends blogs, as well as my girlfriends blog and was quite surprised by the results.

I get a mention in about 70% of the blog posts from my friends. In all but one case the blogs are from friends that I don't see much more then once a week at the most.

Most of the times I've been mentioned in my friends ones have been in regards to fun things we've done, stupid things we've done in the past, or sad things we've been a part of - all over the board. But its usually with people that I spend less time with; those that when I do see them its not been taken for granted, and they enjoy the company (that much is evident).

When I think about the times in my life that I've enjoyed myself the most, its usually the things that I don't do very often - Skydiving; Shooting; playing with fire on an epic scale, etc...

Why is it easier to look forward to doing things with friends I rarely see, then those I see daily? One would assume that the relationships I have with those close by would be stronger; yet it always seems to be the opposite. That its easier to get along with the seldom seen.

I think in a way that I'm becoming almost too reliable to some people I see daily. That it's got to the point where I can be taken for granted, and I've almost become more of an object of reliance, then a friend.

I got a call to help someone move house, my friend told me he called me first. When asked why they called me (given I haven't seen him around in a while), he told me that it was because he knew I would be able to help; that I would offer to help, and that I would expect nothing in return. That I'd been able to help him a lot in the past, and he knew he could rely on me for help.

At first I thought this was a pretty good thing, as it shows I'm reliable. I mentioned it to another friend who was with me at the time who simply said jokingly "or maybe you are a doormat" and just laughed it off.

That got me thinking though.

I realised that I'm more then happy to drop stuff I'm doing to help out other people, but its rarely a two-way street. I don't do it to curry favour, or to look good etc in front of them. Its just one of those things that I was brought up to do - if someone needs help, you help.

I've realised though that some of those closest to me do not have the same behaviour or standards. I'm starting to feel now though that it's those that I'm closest to - that the relationships are dying. How does one rebuild it to the point of a mutual true friendship, rather then a task master and obedient servant while still being a friend and helping them with their needs?

I spoke with a mentor about this earlier and they said that it shows someone's true character in how they act always. I agree with this, that someone's heart is shown through their actions. He also mentioned that perhaps we just live in a lazy generation where the focus on self will always be foremost.

I know that when people call for help I'll be there. I know that in the future I will drop what I'm doing if a friend is in need. I just hope that somehow, in some way, people will see what I do and recognise the lack of standards in our society. That they will be spurned to kick it up a notch - to stop living for themselves, and to start thinking about how they can serve and care for others.

- Shifty

Job vs Career

What's the difference between a job and a career? I started in a new line of work last week. I think its going to be a career.

My reasoning is that a 'job' is something you do to get paid. Its a means to an end; whereas with a career, the work itself is the end. The money is helpful, but you enjoy working, so it doesn't become stressful or taxing.

I have a bunch of friends that all have "jobs". They strongly dislike the 'job', and may even go as far as to complain about it any time its mentioned. The only reason they do it is for the money so that they can do other things. This bugs me for 2 reasons:

A) Because its simply annoying to be stuck with a whinger, and

B) They have a job to do. They have work. They have money.

Being in the work I am, I constantly forget how lucky I am to be working regardless of whether I take personal enjoyment from it. To be able to actually sit down and get something done - to contribute to society - is a joy to itself.

People often say "what would you do if you won $90 million dollars in the lotto?" etc... and how they would retire and not work ever again, but just do fun things. I don't think I could do that. I think it would kill me to not work. Recreation is good, but its good with definition. If it becomes the only thing you do, it loses the specialness. To put it as a metaphor - If you don't have Black, then how do you know what White is?

True, there are times when I get frustrated, however I wouldn't want to stop doing what I do. There are times I think about other career paths, and what it would be like to follow them, however I find the most enjoyment I get is from doing whatever work I currently have.

I think all Men enjoying creating; all Men enjoy the sense of accomplishment that comes with completely a task. All Men know that life will not just be handed over on a silver platter because you squirt a few tears if something goes wrong. Putting up with the hardships; resolving issues (rather then ignoring them) are all trademarks of what makes a Man.

So take encouragement in your work. Enjoy the opportunity you have. Whinge a whole heap less.

- Shifty

Shark Attacks!

I can't write the phrase "Shark Attacks!" without the exclamation point. It just doesn't look right?

These are becoming pretty popular at the moment. 3 shark attacks! on the south coast of Australia in 2 days; all involving a good size chomp on an unsuspecting beach-goer. 2 resulting in people punching the sharks

There's also 2 theories on how sharks attack. Theory A states:

A) Sharks only take a bite to get a taste of what they are chomping; but humans have too high a muscle + bone ratio to be tasty food for sharks, which is why they take a bite then usually bail (i'm assuming the "usually" is if the person isn't fat, with all the stuff (chunky bits) the sharks like); and more people will die from blood loss, then being eaten whole.

Theory B states:

B) Sharks only take a bite to get the prey weakened so there's less risk of the shark getting hurt; then when the prey starts to die they come in full bore and chomp chomp chomp; its just that humans have a better chance of escaping after being bitten (getting to shore, or being helped onto a boat) so the shark doesn't have a chance to finish you off.

My issue with these two theories is that neither is very helpful to a swimmer except for a single clear fact - "SHARKS WILL BITE YOU". Does it really matter whether it appreciates the meal or not? No. So why is that the major story at the moment? The modus operandi is as such "Sharks will see something. Sharks will bite that something".

I have to admit that when I'm away from the beach, sharks scare the heck out of me. But when I'm in the surf, its usually not as bad. I guess because I figure there are tastier people then me to eat, so I should have a bit of warning.

At the end of the day, with all the technology we have, we can send men into space; we can possibly collapse our universe (hadron collider); but we can't stop fish from chomping our limbs off.


What a world.